Friday, October 20, 2017

Should Girls be allowed to join the Boy Scouts?

Should Girls be allowed to join the Boy Scouts? This week the Boy Scouts of America announced that they are opening up membership to girls.  This announcement has caused much controversy between Boy Scouts of America and Girl Scouts of America.  Instead of being proactive many are reactive to this announcement.  There are so many opinions on this and people are writing about it and reporting on it.  After reading and listening to a lot of the reports on this I'm still very torn.  I know that Boy Scouts of America did not go into this lightly.  Watch this video of the Chief Scout Executive at a National Council Town Hall Meeting. They have done a lot of research on this, and I hear what they are saying, I still believe that they did this wrong. Top 6 Things you need to know about girls joining Boy Scouts. 

This has been a heated conversation in my house and in my circles of friends and family.  I have a son and 2 daughters, all of them are in Scouts.  My son is an Eagle Scout and my daughters are Girl Scouts.  As a supporter of both organizations and a parent of a Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, I don't believe that girls should be able to join Boy Scouts.  I do believe that girls can do the same things that boys do, but I don't believe that means they should become Boy Scouts.  I think that Girl Scouts of America should be listening and creating more challenging things for girls to do.  Girl Scouts has been introducing new badges, keep them coming.  I believe that there are some things that need to remain same and unaltered by societal changes. Here is another video link from Fox News. There are many reasons why girls and boys should have their own organizations. I believe that single-gender organizations create a safe comfortable environment for both girls and boys.  Boy Scouts opening up membership should not be a sexist issue as some are making it out to be.

Girls are a distraction for boys as boys are a distraction for girls, not just when they become teenagers but even as younger children.  Their maturity levels are different.  When talking to men who were Boy Scouts as children and young men who never made it to Eagle, their reason why is "girls and cars."
Puberty is another reason why girls and boys need their own groups.  When a girl is starting her period she doesn't want to be around boys camping in tents with no running water for the weekend.  It's bad enough being uncomfortable about getting your period with other girls who are going through it also.  And boys don't want to be grossed out by that either.  It's a fact that girls and boys develop differently.  It is just as important for both boys and girls to feel like they can do anything without the help of the other sex as it is for them to be able to work together.

The Mission and Vision of the Boy Scouts of America 2017, are to prepare young people to make ethical and moral choices over their lifetimes by instilling in them the values of the Scout Oath and Law.  The Boy Scouts of America will prepare every eligible youth in America to become a responsible, participating citizen and leader who is guided by the Scout Oath and Law. The Boy Scout Motto is "Be prepared."  The Mission and Vision of the Girl Scouts of America to build girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place.  The Girl Scout Motto is "Be prepared."  As you can see both organizations want to teach boys and girls to be prepared for what lies ahead of them and to succeed in life by giving them the tools to help guide them.

Above all, we need to remember that our founders Robert Baden-Powell and Juliette Gordon Low were friends.  Baden-Powell started the Boy Scouts around 1907 in England and his sister and wife followed soon after with Girl Guides.  Boy Scouts of America was founded February 8, 1910.  After seeing how great the scouting movement was in England, Juliette stared a group of Girl Guides in Scotland in 1911.   The following year Juliette brought it home to the girls of Savannah Georgia and started the first Girl Guide Troop on March 12, 1912.  The name changed to Girl Scouts in 1915.   I don't know when or why the rivalry between the two organizations began but I think it's time that it ended.   Both organizations have things that they struggle with and things that are successful.  I think we should work together to better both organizations.  We can both learn from each other.

The question still remains, Should Girls be allowed to join the Boy Scouts? I still say no, even after everything I have seen and heard. I think that both organizations could benefit from each other if we joined forces and became friends, not enemies.

(If you read both of my blog you will see this on both.  I know not everyone reads both of my posts but I want to share this with both.)

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Keep Moving On

We need to stop dwelling on the past. We must move on.  You will never move forward if you keep looking in the past, you must focus on whats in ahead of you.  We've all made mistakes in the past in one way or another. In order for changes to happen, we need to move on.  Don't get stuck in the mud staring at your mistakes day after day.  Address the problem, set a goal and move on.  Set a date to check on your progress.  You shouldn't weigh yourself every day.  Everyone fluctuates daily.  You will only see the benefits of your actions after you have been doing your action steps for at least 3 months.  The Oola Guru talked about this in his Money Monday talk for finance but you can use that for any part of your life.

Monday, October 16, 2017

Reality and a 80's Musical Flashback

Why is it so hard to face reality?  I mean I know what's real and what's not, but sometimes all of the chaos of life makes you lose your sense of reality.  You keep telling yourself that everything is ok and you start to believe it yourself.  When the fact of the matter is that you aren't ok.  Things aren't going the way you imagined they would be at your age.  Is this what they call a midlife crisis?  I think by definition I might be having a midlife crisis, I have a strong desire for change in my life. I just don't know how to do it.  Like I know but I can't seem to make the changes necessary for big change to happen.  And so I keep searching for an answer.  I feel a song coming on, "Here I Go Again," by Whitesnake.  I'm not going to stop believing that change is possible and it happens one step at a time.  "Don't Stop Believing," by Journey

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Time For a Make Over

It's time for a make over.  I've been feeling like I need to do something different with my hair, but the truth is I just go back and forth between two hair styles.  Now I'm thinking of giving my blog a make over too.  My husband has never like my background.  He has always said it was too busy.  I wonder if people think that when they look at it?  I wonder what people think when they look at me?  In my eyes the first thing people probably is fat.  Before they even talk to me, that's what I think they see.  Then it's probably my boobs and then my hair.  I wonder if people see my background before my content, like I think they see my fat before they see me.   My red hair has always been my identity.  But one day last year when I was subbing I told a girl that my hair used to be the same color as hers, she said that my hair wasn't red.  My red has dulled looks more brown and I have lots of grey now.  The part of me that used to shine, is fading.  Most people would just go and get their hair dyed but I can't do that.  That is the one thing that has always driven me crazy...when people would ask me what number hair dye I use.  I would always say with pride, " it's natural, you can't get this out of a bottle."  The most I have ever done is get high-lights. But it's time for something new, so all I'm left with is a hair cut.  I'm going to a new hairdresser on Monday so wish me luck.  Maybe she will come up with some thing new for me. 

For now it's onto playing around with the layout of my blog and maybe giving it a little make-over.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017


Recently I made the decision along with the help of my husband to stop working.  For the first time in a long time I am keeping up with the laundry and doing the breakfast dishes before lunch.  But for some reason the thought of me staying home is hard for people to comprehend.  Why do people feel the need to validate the choices I make?  I don't need their validation.  I am perfectly capable of making my own life choices.

A good friend reminded me the other day that, there comes a time when you need to take care of yourself.  Well my time is now.  And that's what I'm doing.  I'm taking care of me.  Not having laundry pilled up and dirty dishes in the sink all the time is much less stressful, and that's just a small thing.  Having time to think, reflect and write, that's a little bigger thing.  Feeling like I'm NOT running in circles and out of control, that's HUGE!  Sleeping better is another HUGE thing!

I've always said that we lived in a simpler time life would be less stressful.  Well that's exactly what I'm trying to do, simplify my life. 

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Things I Say

Everyone has there own things that they always say, here are some of the things I say...

"I love you.
Have a good day, get all your work done.
Listen and do it the first time.
Follow the golden rule in actions and in words.
Do your best."
I would say that every day when I brought my children to elementary school, then I would kiss them and send them on their way.  The best thing about that is when we were in a hurry and running late my youngest would remind me to say it.  So I knew she had listened for all those years.  It's hard to believe I'm not saying it any more, they aren't little.  This is the time in 15 years that I'm not bringing anyone to school.  

"Doubt means Don't."
If you are in a situation that you don't think is good don't be there.  If you think it's not a good idea then it probably isn't.  

"Wallet, badge, keys, phone.  Drive careful,  have a good day, I love you, bye."
 Every morning I get up with my husband and make his coffee and lunch while he makes and eats his breakfast.  Then I say the same thing as I kiss him goodbye every morning.  

"Time to get up.  Put your feet on the floor and get out of bed."
I call this up the stairs to my girls every morning to wake them up.  I changed the wake up call to this after hearing the camp counselors say it one summer to the girls.  I liked it and it stuck.  Before I used to say. "Wake-y, Wake-y, Eggs and Bacon"

"Wise I like, wise guys I don't."
I always used to say this when my son was fooling around and talking back when he was little. When he was in 5th grade he wrote me a poem for Mother's Day and included that statement in it.  I had it mounted on a plaque and it still hangs in my kitchen today.

"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt."
An all time classic parent and teacher saying, that I have said many times.

"Rock-a-bye and good night, go to sleep (Alex, Emily or Amy)
Close your eyes fall asleep, go to dreamland.
Close your eyes and fall asleep and tomorrow will come.
And we'll play and have fun until the day is done."
This is the lullaby I sang to my each of my babies every night as I put them to bed.

"Do your best and let God do the rest."
This is something my dad always said to me and I continue to say it to my children.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

"I am supposed to be here. So are you."

I was scrolling through Facebook when I happened upon the Wheler Conference 2017 live feed from Cazenovia College, Dr. Greene was speaking and I thought, "I remember him, let's see what he's talking about."  He was starting to introduce Jennifer Hartwell, M.Ed.  I am so glad that I stopped to listen. Her story resonated with me, it was similar to my story of acceptance to Cazenovia College.  A perfect song to listen to while you read this is, Madisa "Overcomer."

I was too have felt many times that I am not supposed to be where ever I am at that time because I was being judged on my aptitude.  I was one of those students who struggled thru high school. I was always just an average student, but my grades in my art classes brought up my GPA.  I remember my uncle saying to me, "don't be surprised if you don't get accepted to college."  Well luckily I didn't let that stop me from applying to Cazenovia College.  I was accepted to Cazenovia with a list of conditions and was more that happy to follow those, as Caz was my #1 choice but also the only college I applied to.  Cazenovia College was the only college I wanted to go to.  Thankfully God agreed with the Admissions Department and I was accepted.  I graduated from Cazenovia College in 1991 and then transferred to SUNY Cortland.  I don't have as clear memories of being accepted there and I don't even know why I applied there.  I graduated from SUNY Cortland in 1993.  My grades in academic classes were never the best, but my major classes in Art were what carried me through.  I believe I graduated with a 2.2 GPA.  It was my talent that got me through, my gift that was all part of  God's plan for me.  I do think that part of his plan was to feel struggle, so that I could feel true accomplishment.

Since happening upon Jennifer Hartwell's presentation I have replayed it so that I could take better notes to share her message more clearly and accurately.  Her words were exactly what I needed.  I am so glad that she shared your story and her life lessons.  I am going to have my son watch the presentation later as he too has had his own struggles his first semester of college.  A lot of us have been in those shoes, failing but not able to admit it to your parents.  Sometimes a person needs to hit rock bottom in order to lift themselves back up and learn from their mistakes.  Not all cases are the same but when you have that moment you know.  The thing that is so hard for kids to understand is that we have all been there.  It's important too keep our communication about school open and keep us up to date on grades with your kids. Remind your kids that you can always change your path.   Many of us didn't know back then what we wanted to do, and many of us changed our majors 1 or more times. My husband got a degree in geology and has a successful career in computers.  Computers have always been a compassion of his.  He is self taught and continues learning in the ever changing world of computers and technology.

I went to college hoping to be an art teacher.  I was a studio art major on a waiting list to go to SUNY Buffalo for the Art Ed program.  But by the time I graduated from SUNY Cortland I just wanted to be done with school and get a job.  I was lucky and got a job managing the local Frame & Art Shop with benefits.  I did that for a few years until I got married and moved to Rhode Island.  Deep down I always knew that the career I wanted didn't have a degree program, but I needed a back up plan.  I always knew that I wanted to be a full time, stay at home wife and mother.  Ever since my children started school I was involved and volunteering in school and scouts. I did become a substitute teacher and I was the Art teacher at a local Catholic School the last year it was open. For the past 15 years I have been taking care of everyone else, saying yes to almost everyone's requests.  The word no didn't come out of my mouth very often when I was asked to help someone.  In June my youngest graduated from elementary school and moved up to middle school.  I don't know what it is but when you get to middle school the schools don't ask for volunteers as much.  So I decided focus more on Girl Scouts this year.

Service to others has always been part of me.  So when Jennifer shared her secrets for a "Service Driven Life" they resonated with me so much that I want to share them with you.  These life lessons are things that I have tried to focus on personally and in my role as a Girl Scout Leader.  These life lessons are things that my parents taught me, based on basic morals and principals.  Be nice to others, think before you speak, believe in yourself and others, and you can do it.  My father always says, "Do your best and let God do the rest."  "With God all things are possible."

A Service Driven Life Lessons 
from the 2017 Wheler Family Conference on World Affairs on Service
by Jennifer Hartwell, M. Ed.
1. A little fear Means you're probably about to do something important.
2. What you say to others is as important as what you do for others.
3. Your ability to serve others is only as deep as your willingness to believe in them.
4. It is possible to be both positive and realistic.

When you are struggling in your personal, academic or professional life it's important to take a step back and get a new perspective on thing.  If you have goals and dreams but don't seem to be getting closer because you are stuck, ask yourself "What do I need to know in order to accomplish this?"  In a world focused on "Selfies" its hard to remember that we are all part of a bigger community.  Where do you fit into your community?  Who is in your community?  Reach out you have a network of supports that can help you get through your struggles, they have probably been there before. 

More amazing quotes I took from Jennifer's presentation.
"A service driven life makes you realize that it's through kindness that we make real change."
"My GPA does not reflect my aptitude."
"In life building a career is like building a house, and your education is your front door." (from one of her favorite professors)
"I am supposed to be here.  So are you."