Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Noticing Changes

So, I'm starting week 3 of my transformation.  I have been going to Girl Fight Fitness 2 nights a week.  I have been having my Oola Detox Tea every morning, drinking a gallon of water a day and having an Oola Energy Tea in the afternoon.  I am half way thru my Detox.  I am feeling so much better.  I have less swelling in my ankles.  My hands aren't going tingly as they were before, and I feel less bloated.  I have lost 7 1/2 lbs.  The worst thing about this is that I go to the bathroom all the time.  But I'm ok with that if I'm flushing out all the bad stuff.  I'm thinking of ordering more Oola Detox and Energy Tea and continuing on longer.  I'm so afraid that if I stop and go back to coffee I will gain the weight right back.  I don't want that, I want it to keep coming off.  Today's affirmation from Oola, "I AM mentally ready for physical change."  That's so true.  I am ready.

Friday, February 16, 2018

Making Changes

I'm not sure what it was that finally clicked.  But I have made some long over due changes in my life.  I need to focus on Fitness. That includes, exercise and eating right.

So for fitness, I joined a gym.  It's not the traditional type of gym.  It's called Girl Fight Fitness and it's a kickboxing gym for women.  With the help of a good friend who agreed to join with me I have gone to 3 classes, tonight will be my 4th.  For the first time ever I like exercising.   I am not a small woman.  And I have faced my biggest number and am making a change.  It is very hard for me to say the number but I have said it to 3 people, so I can move forward.  I HATE THE NUMBER.  I have decided that I am going to "punch" the fat out at kickboxing.  I'm not going to lie it's not easy.  But it's not walking on a treadmill, which I totally hate.  Some of the floor exercises are very hard for me and I have to made adjustments.  PUSH-UPS UGH, my arms shake and my knees hurt, but I'm doing them.  At home I have been using an exercise stability ball instead of doing some of the things on the floor, hoping to work up to or down to the floor.  But it's killing my knees.  

Last night I got the ultimate motivation from someone at Girl Fight.  I don't even know her name.  But after we were done she came over to me and told me I was doing awesome and not to give up.  She said she knows how hard it is but to keep doing it. Then she told me that 4 years ago she was 217 pounds heavier.  I hugged her and told her she rocked. It was very emotional for me and I had tears in my eyes.  

For eating right, I'm doing a combination of things. First I stopped eating after 9pm.  That was really hard.  Having oh so good but bad snacks while watching TV is very hard to quit.  I started using the my fitness pal app on my phone, logging everything I eat.  I'm doing an 80/20 plan that gives me a 20% cheat.  That boils down to 4 meals or 1 day of cheating per week.  And this week I added doing a coffee detox with Oola Tea.  Cutting out coffee for 14 days and switching to tea, and drinking a gallon of water every day.  OMG it's a lot of water.  Talk about trips to the bathroom, it seems like right after I go I have to go again.  But it's all good.  I have not had any headaches which I was nervous about getting.  But I have been biting my nails bad, I don't know why.  To help with the cravings I have been putting a drop of grapefruit essential oil by Young Living in my water.  It smells good and tastes good.  Today my new oil came it's called Slique Essence.  It's a blend of Citrus and herbs to help support digestion and weight management.  I'm hoping that it helps with cravings.  You taste the citrus but you smell the mint.  

I'm hoping that I haven't bitten off more than I can chew by trying too many things at once.  We shall see how it goes.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Time for Change - Time for Me

"Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it's selfless.  A better you is more capable to serve others." Live Oola

This is something that is very hard to me to do.  I take care of everyone and everything else before I take care of me.  It's time for a change.  It's time for me.  Sometimes it takes things going on in other peoples lives to put things into perspective for your own life.  That is happening right now.  Someone I know has just been diagnosed with cancer.  If something like that happened to me have I done all that I was supposed to do with my life...Have I lived my purpose?

All I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother, being an art teacher was my back up plan.  So for 19 years I have focused on my children.  They are needing me less and less now that they are 19, 16 and almost 12.  Knowing that and knowing that I want to be there for their children someday and to travel the country with Ken when they are all out of the house, I need to focus on me now and get in shape.  "To be in  your children's memories tomorrow, you need to be in their lives today." Live Oola

I know that what has held me back is being so busy doing things for everyone else that I don't have time for me, and then at the end of the day I'm so tired that I don't want to do anything.  But most of all it's fear.  Fear of being judged by others and fear of failing. About 5 years ago I was exercising with a personal trainer.  I don't like exercising in front of other people, or in front of mirrors.  I feel like I am being judged and I HATE going on the treadmill.  But when I was working out with the personal trainer I felt comfortable.  Until one day he forgot and scheduled an open circuit at my time slot.  That day I had my first anxiety attack.  It was awful.  My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest, I was sweating, crying and couldn't catch my breath.  The way I felt in that moment stopped me from exercising, until now.  For the past year I have been wanting to try something new, a kickboxing class for women, but fear and financial reasons stopped me from joining.  Well last week I did it.  I went to my first class.  OMG it was hard.  It wasn't a kickboxing class, it was a kettle bell class.  I am so grateful to my good friend for coming with me and being my security blanket.  I am looking forward to going trying kickboxing.  I have now gone to 3 classes and have exercised at home twice. 

The other thing that has given me the motivation I need is Oola.  I have been reading "Oola: Find Balance in an Unbalanced World," and following OolaLife on Facebook.  Watching their Facebook live's and getting motivation and direction.  I love the quotes they post on FB and on Pinterest.  Year after year things stay the same and I have become content with that, that's not good.  There is one thing that kept changing and that's a number.  I don't want to say the number out loud or even type it because I don't like it.  But I have come to a point that I have to change it.  I don't want to be afraid any more.  I don't want to stand on the sidelines watching, I want to participate.  This change is not going to be easy, no thing worth it is.  I am finally ready to start.

"Don't fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today." Live Oola

"Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start being excited about what could go right." Live Oola

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

My Break Is Over

I had been struggling with somethings personally for about a month.  My break is over and I'm back ready to write.

I was asked "What am I trying to say with my blog?"  Think about what "artsyBE" is and model my blog for it.  From the day I started artsyBE  I have always said it was for me.  It's about my journey to being a better me, it's about my struggles and my accomplishments.  If my writing inspires someone else along the way that's amazing.  Everyone should find their own BE List and revisit it every once in a while or yearly whatever works.  A lot of the things on my BE List have remained the same and some things have changed, because life is ever changing, but the center of it all has remained the same. My BE List is who I want to BE to make me better in life.

My BE List not my Bucket List

Friday, January 12, 2018

In Search of Words of Wisdom

I have all of the books that inspire me with words of wisdom on the counter in the kayos. 
#1 The Bible
#2 My Journal
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Program Guide
Searching for advice 
Searching for answers
Taking Notes
and Searching More

Monday, January 1, 2018

Is Santa real?

Is Santa real? That is the question my youngest asked her older sister.  My older daughter said, "what do you think?"  My youngest said, "I think it's Mom."  This Christmas was hard because we weren't sure if Amy still believed in Santa or not.  Emily wanted to spill the beans and let the cat out of the bag.  I told her no, it has to happen naturally.  She said but it's all a lie and you tell us not to lie so why are you?  All valid comments.  For the past week or so I have had a huge box in my bedroom that Amy kept asking about.  I told her Santa sent it early and that I didn't know what was in it and I couldn't open it.  Honestly I had no place to keep this box it was so big.  I think when it was opened on Christmas is when she really put it all together.  So after reading what other parents did on Pinterest I decided to write the kids my own letter from Ken and I.  Here is the letter I gave them.  When Amy found it on the tree, she brought it to me I told her to read it to Emily but she didn't want to read it out loud.  So I read it to them and about half way thru it I got choked up and started crying.  This whole thing was so unreal.  When I finished I looked up from the paper and Emily was all red in the face and crying too.  Amy had a tear in her eye and said, "see this is why I didn't want to tell you Mom."

Dear Amy, Emily & Alex too,
Is Santa real? Are you Santa? Who is Santa? How did this all get started?  You tell us not to tell a lie, but you lied to us…
I know you have all been asking these questions and wondering. Sorry but, there really isn’t just one answer to your questions.    And the answers don’t come easy, we had to give it careful thought to not destroy your Christmas Spirit.  Christmas isn’t just about presents.  It’s about believing without seeing.  Christmas is the birth of our Savior, Jesus.  We can’t see him, but we know he is real.  We can’t give Jesus material gifts, but we can love one another the way God loves us.  We can believe, and we can share Christmas joy with others.  That is why we give gifts to each other.  Not just the gifts that we write down on a list but thoughtful things that come from the heart.  Sometimes those gifts are homemade, sometimes they are big or small, and some cannot be measured at all.  If you give with all your heart that is the best gift of all. 
I know that doesn’t really answer your questions either so here is more…
No, we are not Santa.  There is no one Santa.  Santa is bigger than any one person.  Think of Yes Virginia, “There is a Santa Claus.  He exists as certainly as love and joy…No Santa Claus!  Thank God, he lives and lives forever.  A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.”  Santa is everywhere.  Whether or not you believe in Santa Claus is in your heart.  Santa’s touch is felt around the world every year.  Every year he seems to become more popular in countries where he wasn’t before.  If he wasn’t real, how could he do that?  Santa is all about believing.  Everything and everyone changes and grows up, that’s what life is all about.  What you believe today might be different that what you believe tomorrow or even next year.  The most important thing is that you believe in yourself and that you keep the spirit of Santa alive in your heart.  Just like you keep the love of special people in your heart.  If you keep a special place for him in your heart he will exist in the most important place of all.
Yes, it’s true, Dad and I are the ones who fill your stockings and wrap your presents, the same way Grandma & Grandpa and Grammy & Grampy did for us and their parents for them.  And hopefully someday you will do for your children.  You will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning.  Better than any gift that you could give us is watching you open your gifts every year.  The magic that fills the room fills our hearts, and makes memories to last a lifetime.
Keeping the magic alive is a big job, and an important one that needs to last your whole life long.  Santa is also a teacher and we have been his students.  Now you know the secret of how he gets presents all around the world in one night, he has help from all the people whose hearts he has filled with joy.  Now you too must help keep his spirit alive.  With hearts full of love like Daddy and I we help Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible. 
So, no, Dad and I aren’t Santa.  Santa is love, magic, hope, joy, belief and happiness.  We are on Team Santa and now you are too.  We love you all very much and always will. 
Love, Hugs & Kisses,

Mom & Dad

Sunday, December 31, 2017

To be a fearless teenager, is so different than being a 40 something parent.  I believe that I have been teaching my kids and giving them the roots to grow and the wings to fly some day.  I remember being afraid of the unknown and yet being fearless at the same time at their ages.  Teenage years and early adulthood are such a confusing time.  You hope that things will get better as you grow.  When are things going to get easier?  Being a parent sure isn't easy.  When they are a toddler you are worried about the things they put in their mouths, about falling and getting hurt.  Then they go to school and you worry about them having friends and feeling included, falling down and getting hurt.  Middle School and High school, you go back to worrying what they put in their mouths, about falling in love and having their hearts broken, getting good grades, driving, and applying to college.  Now they are trying to figure out the path they want to take, college or not, where, how will we pay for it?  And always hoping they make the right decisions.  They say they can take care of themselves but you see the way they take care of the their bedrooms.  They want nice things, but they are all of over the floor.  They don't want you to help them but they are walking around in circles frustrated because they can't find some thing and need to walk out the door.  They don't want to live at home anymore, but they aren't doing what it takes to fly.  Will there ever be a time when I don't worry? Wondering if things are gonna get better...I'm asking why? Time for me to listen to "Stronger," by Mandissa,  "Strong Enough," by Matthew West,  "Greater," by Mercy Me, and "We Believe," by Newsboys

I know that with God all things are possible.  All we have to do is try to hold on a little bit longer and that the difficulties will make us stronger. I am going to let go and let God.  That's all I can do.  Pray for my kids, that they make the right choices, are healthy, happy and loved.  And that they spread their wings and fly some day.