Early this week my son said, "I know you are disappointed in me. I'm the disappointment child." I told him then that it was not true. I said no, "I'm the disappointment child. I believe that you can do great things."
Disappointed, I'm NOT disappointed in you. I'm disappointed in the choices that we ALL continue to make. It's like we're stuck in the same day, the same week, the same month and the same year. And we keep making the same mistakes over and over again, never learning from them and never making REAL change. Why is it that some people have motivation, discipline and drive and can succeed at whatever they try? Why is it that some people continue to fail while others succeed? I really wish I new the answer. How do we get out of the rut we are stuck in? What are we afraid of? I wrote before about how when we were younger we were ready for adventures and we tried new things. We picked up and moved where there were better opportunities. There are things that I love and things that I don't about the position we are in right now. It takes a lot to confront your demons. Everyone has them. Mine are self worth, food and laziness. That was very hard to say. I might seem to have it all together but I don't. I struggle everyday. I constantly feel that I am being judged by others. I want to loose weight and get healthy but I never do. I start out strong and then get lazy and give up. When the going gets tough, I give up. I really want to make change but I guess I don't know how to successfully do it, since I haven't been successful at it yet. I've been reading all of the inspriational quotes on the Oola Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/OolaLife/ . I decided to type them into a document, print it and hang it up around the house as a reminder. Hopefully this will work.
They say, believe that there is a comeback for every setback and a new beginning for every ending. I'm looking for that comeback and new beginning. I will keep the faith and have hope that God will help me to make change.
This morning I spilled all out on my son. It was like I had this awakening. I told him, he's ready, and we are ready, it's time for him to FLY. Time for him to use those wings that we gave him and take the challenge to make change. I believe in him. Just like I believe in my girls. I know they are capable of doing great things. They just have to try. I said that when my husband and I were younger we were ready for adventure and we moved and took opportunities that would make things better for our family. Now it feels like we are a bit stuck and told him NOT to get stuck like us. GO, spread your wings and FLY. Don't wait to get your associates degree to transfer, apply now and go. You are ready for the challenge.