It's 12:25 am on August 18, 2010, I tried to go to bed 25 minutes ago and could not fall asleep suddenly this idea came to me to make a BE LIST, so I got up and started writing.
Everyone talks about their "Bucket List," the things they want to do before they die. Tonight while going to bed late as I often do, I kiss my husband goodnight and looked at the clock, it was 11:57, I realized that in 3 min's it would be our anniversary, 14 years. 14 years of BEing lucky in love with the boy I always thought was cute. But also 365 days away from 15 years. 15 seams like such a milestone, just like 40, of which I will be in 360 days. 360 days who thinks of their next birthday in days? Well, I think I finally figured out that's the way to do it, like they always say "take it one day at a time." So one day at a time I will take it. I'm going to LIVE my life and BE! I'm going to BE all the thinks I dream of BEing and sometimes I might BE Happy, sometimes I might BE Sad, sometimes I might even BE Angry. But I'm always going to BE ME!
I keep talking about how when the kids go back to school I'm going to take care of myself for a change, well I realized I have started already. This summer has been so much fun and so relaxing. I have been laying low and taking it slow for the mornings and then getting things done in the afternoon. I realized just now at 12:37 am that's because I am preparing myself for the 360 days ahead of me to BE ME! The me I dream of and want to BE. So I decided I'm going to make a BE LIST, something Ken has always wanted me to do just never called it that before. I always just said, I was what I wanted to BE and that I was happy. What more could I ask for...I am a wife and a mother of 3 great children Alex, Emily and Amy. I get to stay home and nurture and guide them, and hug them and kiss them. Thankfully the diaper days are over. In just a few weeks Amy our youngest will be starting pre-K for 1/2 day all week. Friends have been asking me if I'm going to cry and I say no. Then they ask,"what are you going to do with all that time?" First I say, "it's not that much time, it's only 2 1/2 hours a day." Then I say, "I'm going to take care of ME." WOW 2 1/2 hours a day to myself! What ever will I do with daylight hours to myself? And then it dawned on me tonight while trying to fall asleep. I'm going to BE! For the next 360 days until I turn 40 I'm going to BE ME!
I'm going to take care of me while still being ME the wife and mother. I'm going to document my journey here. I'm going to come up with my BE List of the things I want to do while I am BEing ALIVE and LIVING my life before it's too late. Life is too short not to BE yourself and the person you should BE.
So here it goes...
Making up the list is going to take time and then trying to accomplish them is going to BE hard. But for once in my life I feel passionate about something I think I can do. The list I have in my mind will consist of different things, some are places to go, some are feelings but all will get me closer to BEing ME. SO lets start this journey together 1 day at a time. Let's BE!
I need to add that the whole reason I'm doing this is because of loosing people too young and to many young people I know are getting sick right now. My childhood friend Stacy died 2 years ago to breast cancer, leaving behind 5 kids and her husband alone. Now my friend Deb is fighting cancer for the second time. Also another Deb that I went to High School with is fighting cancer. Two other firnds have had cancer scared in the last few months. And now my uncle is being tested for cancer. And yet my grandmother is 97 years youn and has out lived 3 husbands raising 5 children on her own. My other grandmother lived to be 93. If I only knew thier secrets to a long life. It's too late to ask Granny but it's not to late to ask Grandma, so I will ad that to my list.
I'm going to start from day 1 tomorrow, which is really today since it's 1:43 AM. I better get to bed, tomorrow is a BIG day!